hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
