Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
