and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
honey bunches of taint.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
