You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
you never un-have a 4some
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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