he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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