It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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