My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
