google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
