Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
ugly people sure do ruin things
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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