don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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