Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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