i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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