You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
