I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
