i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you would pick up someone in the library
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
