Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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