Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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