i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
