Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
