actually, I'm a sock model
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
