i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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