11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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