Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
In America we eat man semen.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
