They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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