He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
