I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
