New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Let's get the cat blown out
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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