Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
