worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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