He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
