If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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