my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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