Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
