Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
