i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
