Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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