Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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