it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
honey bunches of taint.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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