don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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