theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
