Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
