You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
