What did we do last night that was yellow?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize