508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
