I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
