**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
