By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
