whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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