1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
