She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
