I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
