if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Who died my cat blue again?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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