Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
