...so i touched it.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
