It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
