i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
