I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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