Christians are straight up FREAKS
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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