Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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