I love black thongs
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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