Kiss
Puke
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
