idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize