After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize