69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
