Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
