If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize