you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
