The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I AM VODKA MAN
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
